Starting school is a milestone filled with excitement, nerves, and big transitions—for both children and their parents. But what happens when your child just doesn’t seem to settle in? Maybe they come home exhausted, act out in new ways, or struggle to follow simple routines. You might start to wonder: Is this just a normal adjustment… or is something more going on?

Sometimes, the structure and demands of school bring hidden challenges to light, especially when a child has undiagnosed ADHD. This guide will help you spot early red flags, understand the role of gender in diagnosis, and take confident steps toward support.

Why School Often Exposes ADHD Symptoms

Preschool and home life are often more flexible, with plenty of movement, one-on-one attention, and open-ended play. But school introduces a very different environment:

• Sitting still for long periods

• Listening in group settings

• Following multi-step instructions

• Navigating social rules

For children …

For most parents, the daily juggle of meals, routines, emotions, and responsibilities can feel overwhelming. But when you’re a parent with ADHD, that chaos can become all-consuming. The forgotten lunchbox, the unwashed uniforms, the emotional outbursts – it’s not just disorganisation, it’s a neurodevelopmental condition that often goes unseen in adults. And when you add in gendered expectations about what mothers and fathers should be doing, the struggle can feel isolating and invisible.

This article explores the unique and often misunderstood challenges of parenting with ADHD, how those experiences are shaped by gender, and what strategies can help you thrive, not just survive.

The Mental Load and Executive Dysfunction

Parenting requires a constant ability to plan ahead, multitask, manage time, and regulate emotions—all areas that ADHD can deeply affect. This disconnect between expectations and ability can leave neurodivergent parents feeling like they’re constantly falling short.

For mothers, this is often …