When people imagine ADHD, they often picture restlessness, visible disruption, or academic struggle. But for many high-achieving girls and women, ADHD looks nothing like that. Instead, it hides in plain sight—behind good grades, high performance, responsibility, and a reputation for being organised and reliable. These are the women who appear to “have it all together” while privately using every ounce of energy to cope.

For this group, ADHD isn’t a lack of ability. It’s the invisible mental load required to function at a level that masks the symptoms entirely. And because their struggles don’t match the usual stereotypes, diagnosis is often delayed until adulthood—sometimes long after burnout, anxiety, or exhaustion have already taken hold.

 

The hidden reality of high achievement with ADHD

Many girls with ADHD grow up hearing they’re bright, capable, or mature for their age. And they often are. But high intelligence and strong verbal skills can …

You buy a fidget spinner hoping it’ll help your child focus – but instead, it becomes the centre of attention in class. Sound familiar?

Fidgets are everywhere, but not all of them actually help. For kids with ADHD, the right fidget can support concentration, calm the nervous system, and offer a discreet outlet for excess energy. But the wrong one can distract, stigmatise, or even backfire – especially if it doesn’t match your child’s sensory needs or personality.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through how to choose effective, classroom-friendly, and gender-inclusive fidgets that support regulation and focus – not just fads.

What Fidgets Are (and Aren’t)

Fidgets are self-regulation tools, not toys. They’re designed to help the nervous system stay engaged and alert by providing controlled sensory input—through movement, touch, or pressure.

For many kids with ADHD, using a fidget can help channel physical energy, reduce stress, and …

Starting school is a milestone filled with excitement, nerves, and big transitions—for both children and their parents. But what happens when your child just doesn’t seem to settle in? Maybe they come home exhausted, act out in new ways, or struggle to follow simple routines. You might start to wonder: Is this just a normal adjustment… or is something more going on?

Sometimes, the structure and demands of school bring hidden challenges to light, especially when a child has undiagnosed ADHD. This guide will help you spot early red flags, understand the role of gender in diagnosis, and take confident steps toward support.

Why School Often Exposes ADHD Symptoms

Preschool and home life are often more flexible, with plenty of movement, one-on-one attention, and open-ended play. But school introduces a very different environment:

• Sitting still for long periods

• Listening in group settings

• Following multi-step instructions

• Navigating social rules

For children …

For most parents, the daily juggle of meals, routines, emotions, and responsibilities can feel overwhelming. But when you’re a parent with ADHD, that chaos can become all-consuming. The forgotten lunchbox, the unwashed uniforms, the emotional outbursts – it’s not just disorganisation, it’s a neurodevelopmental condition that often goes unseen in adults. And when you add in gendered expectations about what mothers and fathers should be doing, the struggle can feel isolating and invisible.

This article explores the unique and often misunderstood challenges of parenting with ADHD, how those experiences are shaped by gender, and what strategies can help you thrive, not just survive.

The Mental Load and Executive Dysfunction

Parenting requires a constant ability to plan ahead, multitask, manage time, and regulate emotions—all areas that ADHD can deeply affect. This disconnect between expectations and ability can leave neurodivergent parents feeling like they’re constantly falling short.

For mothers, this is often …